17 Sarenith 4713
Dear Ma Mutter,
Like I said I would, I am writing to let you know I arrived in Vernhold without any issues. Now incase you don’t remember (since you don’t remember nothing) this is your son Otto. In this letter are some things I’ve told you twenty times but I know if I don’t write them down you’re gonna forget so make sure you keep this in your nightstand and read it every morning.
If Walter Berrybottom says anything about what I owe him tell him to go take a hike. I traveled with the Old World Trading Company for seventeen years to repay burning down his shop. I even got a signed note from Mrs. Berrybottom saying that the debt has been repaid so he can go stuff it.
If Bilby Marman says anything about letting that half-elf get away with Mrs. Gatelands pies tell him I’m still on his trail and I won’t be back until I get the lousy worm-nut. He said he had family near this middle-of-nowhere-Vernhold place so I’ll be waiting here for him until he returns. I didn’t spend eight years waiting to be a deputy-sheriff just to let the main suspect of my first case gets away. And no one gets away with Mrs. Gatelands’ pies!
Now remember that the good-for-nothing cousin Barlo is going to be stopping by twice a week to take care of your vegetables while I’m gone. Don’t let him into my room! He already stole my fiancé; he doesn’t need to take anything else.
I’ll be sending you letters as I have time to write them. They say half-elves live a long time so I might be here awhile waiting for that worm-nut.
Alright, stay safe and all that.
Otto Mutter IV
P.S. – Don’t forget to take your spoon of oil twice a day like the healers told you. You might be 95 but you’re not going be feeling good if you don’t do what they tell you.